Relationship.. great reading for the day

Found this good article shared by my lovely sister. It goes like this :

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVERjust happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.'
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship
WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make'
love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.
Remember always this:

'God determines who walks into your life.It is up to you to decide who you let to walk away,who you let to stay, and who you refuse to let go.

How can I almost let it slipped from my mind ???

Getting wiser while aging...

It is a popular belief that you will get wiser as you age. Well, at least the saying has a profounding effect on me. I do realize that, as I get older, things started to get clearer in my head. Vision's clear so is the mind, not to mention the ability to analyze the reality vs. fantasy or I shall call it dream. It's nice to dream and I dreamt a lot especially during my younger years, those ignorant while innocent youthful mind that I once had. Looking back, while standing at where I am today, I could say there are things that I am glad I've achieved today. But there were also certain decisions that I wish I'd consult or at least shared with someone wiser if I were to decide one more time. Yeah I know, the "If only" remark is never applicable to us human in this lifetime. I'll just have to make a lemonade out of lemons despite asking for a bowl of juicy strawberries from God. Remember, its always half a glass Full or the other way round. Life goes on, the earth will continue rotating whether I like it or not. Better fall into the groves and dance in the rain.

So far so good

Havent had the mood to pen down something in my blog, since the last post about dad's departure. Well, all I could say is dad's leaving us suddenly (in a mattter of 1 month) does leave me with a huge 'wake up call' on my health and lifestyle. I realized that without a good health, it would be pointless for one no matter how much of cash you have in your bank. And most of it, I keep remind myself that now I have a young baby to take care I could no longer make excuses for not taking good care of myself. With a strong determenation, I made my first step to take up self taught yoga lesson, 2x/week 30 mins each session at home. I start to feel more energetic even a long exhausting day. Not to mention a huge and dramatic change to my body. Toned and defined figure started to emerge from a once plump and full of toxid body. All I can say is, I love the brand new me, less temperenmental, healthier, fitter and prettier :).

May day

Today is the day that I wish I never have to wake up to. Ching texted me saying that the buldge protuding from dad's waist is cancerous and doc has confirmed it has spreaded. My poor daddy is in hospital and need to wait for 2 weeks for the final report. He is already being paralyzed after the stroke attack 2 years ago, and now comes another tsunami for us. Why is God so unfair to him? I wish I could help him endure his suffering. Though he didnt really take good care of us and mom when we were young, he is still our loving dad. I gotto stay positive and pray for the best to happen. Dad, be strong. I am coming back for you ! Gambate!!!

Why dont you talk straight to me???

Over a pot of black chicken soup for him and porridge for my baby, I ended up being classified as 'selfish' DIL. What could have been the worst news that is going to dampen your jolly mood on a beautiful Friday morning? I have promised my man a bowl of black chicken soup several years ago, and until a few weeks back I finally took the first step and prepared a pot of black chicken soup (with chinese herbs). I didnt offer to my MIL in particular coz I felt so inferior and shy to introduce my first attempt on this turned out to be not so nice soup. End up? I kena condemmned of not sharing. Well, I do admit partly its my mistake, because I didnt offer...

So what happen with the porridge for Derrick? My mistake again, as selfish DIL... Apparently I was under the impression that I only cooked for my own baby and neglect the PRINCESS BABY (my SIL's millionaire daughter) of the household and to make it worst of all, we are sharing the same cooker. I remembered clearly I OFFERED her the porridge several times in front of my MIL. And I only use the cooker twice perweek and thats when I am not working, and my MIL has the full access to the cooker 5 fulld days a week. To top it up, she doesnt really cook porridge for her PRINCESS GRANDBABY that often and why she has to complain that I am using the cooker and only cook for my son which is her GRANDSON as well?????

I know I am still fuming when I am typing all these words, why would she deliberately want to cook when I cook in the weekend which is only 2 days of the week??? And I dont really occupy the cooker whole day for god sake. And I did offer her.. I am indeed fuming, and wish to explode just like the recent errupting volcanoes. I know very well that the solution will be cook more and ask them if they want or not for both the not so tasty black chicken soup and porridge. In this case I would not make my man in difficult position. I know this is the best solution. But I just have the urge to get another brand new cooker to show them that hey, I am not too poor to get another cooker.. which is still within my means... Its soooooo sooo difficult to live with in law.. after all they didnt spend your first 30 yrs together with you..

27th Apr 2010... the very day he called me Mama...

Yes, I heard him alright. At first I thought I heard it wrongly when he uttered Mama....And to assure me that I am not hearing it wrongly, he said it again on the next night, :). My boy finally said it after months of waiting. My feelings?? I would say there's a sudden leap of heartbeat as this is the moment that I've been waiting and finally it just sounded so sweet to hear your angel calling for you. How I wish he would stay forever in such a happy, cheerful, curious, adventurous and healthy stage. Mommy just cant get enough of you D.. :)

Further updates on my lil bud..

Spotted his first pairs of upper Central Insicors last weekend. He will soon have 4 cute tooties to be exact. I am starting to imagine the pain of his killer bites. I think the teething episode is making my son grouchy and feeling irritating and he just need to find something to bite. He especially likes to bite on the edge of my pillow and sometimes grab my hands to taste his bites. Night sleep also didnt went on well now. I think I woke up 3 times last night alone just to pat him back to sleep. Wish this could end soon, and it means getting the remaining 16 teeths popping out. On the positive note though, Derrick is getting good at clicking his tongue and will click after you. This is hilarious especially from a nine months ol'

Month#9

Updates on my lil angel development at month#9:

1)Started to show understanding on commands and instructions. He will clap his hands, wave his hands and shows signs of milk-milk if you ask him so...
2)Hungers for attention and separation anxiety signs getting worse. He will cry when he sees you leaving the room, or sometimes just a short distance away from him.
3)Experts in gross and fine motor skill. He can stand while holding onto something, and sometimes even with another hand clutching an object.
4)His emotional bud is developing. I can tell it coz he frowns and tears build up in the eyes when you raise your voice at him.
5)Call papa, dada, aiyeee...ankoo, kkkkkk, JUST no MAMA...:(

I enjoyed thorougly time spent with Derrick. He understands games and jokes so completely that he really liften up your spirits to join the fun with him. I will always cherish and appreciate this gift of Heaven to me, as he completes my life with joy and laughter. I look forward to pick him up every working day as I cant wait to spend more and more time with him before he grows up.

Month#8 progress

Derrick is progressing well with his hand-eye coordination. He understands instruction and will happilly clap his hands when you instructed him so. No problem with right hand-left foot or vice versa movement when he is all on four mode. He is a happy go lucky boy and laugh easily at mommy or daddy's funny expression. He's also an avid fan of simple kid games like peekaboo, song singing, or baby tickling. I love my boy more and more and wish to hear him call mommy... He has started calling his papa at month#6.. when is mommy turn??? Below were some shots taken while on family outing at mengkuang dam.

Another milestone met, way to go baby!

My boy has finally fully recovered from his flu+running nose post CNY. He is also slowly recovering from dark circle under the eyes after I found out that he could be developing allergy towards dust, fur, etc. Quick update on his latest development: Great improvement in both fine and gross motor skills like able to pass object from one hand to another hand at ease, crawling at faster rate now. He loves ball, and will go chasing after the ball, uses his little hands to grasp the ball while trying to bounce it. He has no problem standing up while holding onto something, and followed by biting the next closest object that he sees. I admit its more tiring for me now, as he no longer sits or lye still waiting for mommy to command his limited mobility then. He also wakes up regularly for night feeding now as I think he needs more energy to support his growing mobility. Watching my baby grows bit by bit everyday brings joy and marvels into my life. His little achievement or progress from tossing over, mini push-ups, leg bouncing, grasping objects, standing ups, crawling, laugh at your expressions and cry when you raise your voice at him taught me a great deal about life. Baby doesnt stop learning, and falling down or hitting his head against the floor or hard surface does not stop their attempt to achive the next development milestone. He would cry a bit, but after a while of soothing, he is on his way to 'redo & retest' his capability :). We as adult, should live our life in such a way too be it our career, relationship, belief and dream. My Derrick opens up my eyes through the journey of a baby and the ups and downs along his progress. Mommy is damn proud of you darling ;). Attached are a few of his videos to be shared:

2010 CNY Family Gathering

This is the fist year I brought both Derrick and Charly back to my hometown, Sibu for CNY celebration. Its a rare opportunity as we dont reunite often, and Charly had the chance to get to know my family member better. Mom, especially is very friendly and upon seeing Charly, she handed him a super duper big buddha pendant and a Tibetan Tianzhu. Charly is of course, too awe strucken and overwhelmed by the friendliness nature that my family possessed. As for Derrick, everyone just love him soooo much. Throughout the 7 days stay in Sibu, I never had the chance to worry about nobody taking care of Derrick, as everyone just grab him whenever I brought him home or to the kopitiam. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful family and yearn for coming CNY to approach soon. Below were some priceless moment that I've spent with my family. Hope everyone out there too, enjoy their special moments with their love ones.

I am glad to be of help

A friend called me yesterday, asking me for a favour. She recently realized she was pregnant with her 2nd child, approximately 5 months after her partner, M passed away. She was not legally married to M as he had a legal wife. I know this sounds crazy... Hence her first baby with M was named under M's family name with a legal birth cert but having additional remarks to state that this birth cert was produced without a marriage certificate. No issue with first baby. However, with the second baby on the way, due in coming June, the baby will be fatherless, as according to the JPN regulation, if the father fails to present and without any marriage certificate, the column to record father's detail will be left blank. And of course, not wanting her child to be fatherless or should I say she is more willing to have her child taking after her own family name if the 'father column' is to be left empty. After a few minutes googling for JPN details, I finally got the JPN contacts and all her concerns were solved by this wonderful JPN staff who answered my call. All my friend has to do is to produce the death cert of her partner and the birth cert for her first child to JPN for name changing procedure. Just now before lunch, she called me again to tell me that she had gotten all the documentation ready and will head to JPN immediately to have her first child's name edited. I am glad that this entire ugly episode is finally over for her. Its another beautiful beginning of a new chapter for my friend and her 2 little angels.

My poor darling is sick again

Baby Derrick is sick again, 2nd time in his first 6 months of life. Mommy is feeling guilty for not responsive enough to detect the abnormality in him. Even worst, mommy left him yesterday night with daddy and went away happily shopping with XG. Hai, when mommy came back, Derrick was already in slumberland, but he woke up crying in pain past midnight. Mommy thought he was having 'wind' and just keep on stroking his tummy with medicated oil. Mommy did realize that Derrick didnt finish his milk though. This morning , baby woke up early at 6:15am and again refused any milk but water. Stupid mommy has yet to realize that something is wrong with baby until Ah Ma triggered that baby might be having soar throat. What a lousy mommy ! Later gonna bring him to the doc, and this is the least I can do to ease his pain.

New Year at HR

Yet another surprise event kicked in during the New Year weekend. The rich parents of my niece suddenly decided to treat the whole family a luxurious one night stay at the HR, pool side rooms. The kind of room that you can immediately jump into the swimming pool from your bedside once you open up the sliding door that barricades the bedroom from the pool. Derrick had another chance of dipping himself in the pool, of course next to mommy. He did not resist the water this time and I guess it must have been the roaring sound of the powerful waves that scares him off last round. I had a great time playing with my son, watching his growing curiosity just makes me feel content with life. I cant wait for CNY as the thought of Derrick meeting his PoPo, KongKong and Aunties for the first time simply excites and cheers me up. Hang on Popo, Derrick's coming HOME!